Today is National Coffee Day!

Oh yes, one of my favorite not-really-holidays is today!!  National Coffee Day!  As I say every year, National Coffee Day is pretty much a daily holiday for us coffee drinkers but it's nice to get a free cup on September 29th.

Here is where you can get some free java today, drink up!

Cinnabon - Free 12 oz coffee
Dunkin Donuts - BOGO free hot coffee
Krispie Kreme - Free any sized hot coffee or small iced coffee all weekend long!

For my local peeps:

Elevate Coffee (Shops at Norterra) - Free 12 oz hot coffee between 6am - 10pm
The Refuge - Free Cup of black coffee all day
Press Coffee Roasters - Free small cup of drip or cold brew
Elly's Brunch and Cafe - Free 12 oz iced cappuccino 

Puppy! Our days are ruled by a tiny 4 lb ball of energy!

Have I mentioned that we have a puppy? ;)  But seriously, our lives are run by this tiny little 11 week old 4 lb tiny dog.  Fortunately she's as cute and sweet as can be, but she's a handful!  Training is no joke!  A bonus for me is that my husband is doing most of the puppy care/training, whew!

She also takes a lot of naps, so we get some breaks.  In fact right now I am sitting outside on our back patio on my computer while she snoozes next to me.  Now that's living! 

My girls are smitten with this little bundle of energy and I have no trouble getting them out of bed in the mornings, they're excited to see the puppy!  

Our other two Italian Greyhounds are handling the adjustment surprisingly well.  Our senior mostly ignores her but does not resist if she wants to cuddle with him.  He is also eating better, something that is a challenge for him, but he seems more interested now that other dogs are eating at the same time too!

The middle age IG has the hardest job, as she's the one that Button goes to play, chase, jump on and hang out with.  Bella seems often excited to have a friend/playmate, and other times wants her to be far far away.  I get that. :)

My husband made another DIY sock sweater for Button, hey it's a tradition around here!  And sadly it won't last long as she's growing growing growing. Go here for a look at our other two dogs in puppy sock sweaters. 

Other Italian Greyhound Posts:

A Year in the Life of our IGs (2015)

First Days with an IG Puppy

Italian Greyhounds (wordless wednesday)

Make your own IG puppy sweater (out of a sock!)

Puppy Growing (wordless wednesday)

Puppy Days (wordless wednesday)

New Puppy

Italian Greyhound Birthday Party

Christmas Sweater Cuteness

Italian Greyhound Buddies

Talking to Kids about Death

I've been mulling over sharing how my little family dealt with the topic of death this year.  It took me a few months but I'm finally ready.  Earlier this winter my father passed away after a long battle with Alzheimer's.  A battle so long that it encompassed my girl's entire lives.  As a result his death was not a surprise, but something we had prepared for for quite some time.  However, there really is only so much you can plan for, even with an expected eventual death there are unexpected emotions and realities.

My father's decline was experienced for some time, and he was living in a Care Home when he passed.  However, the actual passing happened quickly and with only a little notice.  As a result I had to fly out unexpectedly while they were at school to be there in time to be with him as he left this life.  

When I returned home a few days later I started conversations about what happened, his death and how they felt about it all.  It was a process and I found that my youngest was the most effected, she didn't want me out of her sight for quite awhile after my return.  I had to reassure her frequently and spend extra time with her so that she could feel secure again.

Here's what I did and what I would do differently if I could.

Death
What Helped

1. Honest communication - I allowed my girls to ask questions and to talk about Grandpa's death when it was comfortable for them.   I purchased a couple books online and borrowed one from the library that dealt with death and grieving.  Although no book is a perfect match they at least offer topics for kids to discuss with you.  You can also talk about what ways you agree or disagree with the book, this may be especially important with your family's beliefs on the afterlife.  
2. Talking about Highs and Lows - We came up with lists of the good and bad parts of Grandpa passing.  For example a good was that Grandpa had his memory back and was whole, also that he got to be with all of his friends and family that were already in heaven!  A low being that we missed him and wouldn't get to see him anymore.
3. Reassurance - My youngest had a *really* hard time with being away from me after my dad died.  This is mostly because I left while she was at school, so she didn't get to say goodbye.  But also because she folded that feeling/fear into the permanent goodbye of my dad.  Reassuring her that I'm not going anywhere and that I plan to live a long life was helpful to her security.

What I would do Differently

1. I would have prepared my girls better the day I flew out.  Either by letting them know that there was a possibility I might have to leave that day, or by leaving them messages.  I was in such a hurry and in the midst of grief that I didn't take the space to think of them.

The time between when my Dad died and his funeral and then burial were all weeks and months apart.  The girls joined me at  Dad's funeral almost a month after he died.  We used that time to prepare the girls by talking about what a funeral/memorial service looks like so that they would know what to expect.  As a result they were pretty comfortable on that day and handled the situation really well. 

Memorial Service/Funeral

What Helped

1. Describe ahead what a memorial service usually looks like.  Talk about how some people may be laughing at times and smiling, and at other times crying.  That both are normal!  Let them know who will most likely be there and that lots of people will be strangers to them, but were close friends to your loved one.
2. Include your kids in decisions that they can have some say in such as what they will wear.  We were making our own flower arrangements for the church and my oldest was able to help grandma select the flowers and arrange them.
3. Go over rules regarding behavior and expectations, especially if this church (or any church) is new to your kids.  Talk about voice level, running, etc.
4. During the service I had the kids sit with my husband (behind me) so that I could experience my own feelings without them having to respond to or take care of me.  I did let them know ahead that mommy might be sad or cry, but that this is totally normal because I am sad about Grandpa passing.  Also that it's okay if they cry and okay if they don't.

Burial

My family waited to bury Dad's ashes until the summer, so it was quite a few months after his memorial.  During the in-between time we talked more about death and I prepared them for the burial.  What it would look like, who would be there and how they could be involved.  

Our situation was a little unique in that Dad was buried in a very small private community cemetery.  As a result we did the actual digging/burying ourselves.  The kids were invited to participate and they both did (happily).  In a more traditional burial you could have your kids place flowers on the grave, or toss flowers on top of a casket.   

We also had a time of remembering Dad where each family member shared a memory of Dad.  The kids were included in this part and were warned ahead so they could prepare. They were given the choice to opt-out, but both of my girls shared something.  Kids could also share a poem, favorite joke or even sing a song.

There is nothing I would do differently with the memorial and the burial.  They were both positive experiences with my girls and I noticed that they were able to process his death as a normal part of life.

We still talk about Grandpa and when I had moments of sadness after his passing I made sure to be honest/open with them.  That way they would normalize sadness and grief as normal reactions to loss.  I let them share how this made them feel and what their hopes were about death ("that mommy lives a long time").

For more information on Dementia 

Talking to Kids about Alzheimer's

Recordable Books Treasured Memories
Goodbye Dad
Visiting Memory Care/Nursing Homes with Kids
Gift Ideas for Loved Ones with Dementia

Puppy Days again!

Five years ago this month we added our Italian Greyhound Bella to the family.  She was the cutest little puppy and has grown to be a loving and sweet dog.  She was quite the transition for our then 8 year old IG Dante.  But eventually they became friends and even cuddle buddies.

Dante turned 13 on Friday, the same day we brought home our latest fur-baby Button! I'm not sure if he appreciated the present, but so far he is getting along with/mostly ignoring Button.

Button is a 10 week old female IG and she is the cutest little puppy!  We are all enjoying getting to know her and help her adjust to our home.  So far we think she's pretty fantastic.

I'll have more puppy updates soon including what products and training we are doing this time around.

Other Italian Greyhound Posts:

A Year in the Life of our IGs (2015)

First Days with an IG Puppy

Italian Greyhounds (wordless wednesday)

Make your own IG puppy sweater (out of a sock!)

Puppy Growing (wordless wednesday)

Puppy Days (wordless wednesday)

New Puppy

Italian Greyhound Birthday Party

Christmas Sweater Cuteness

Italian Greyhound Buddies

My Friend Doll Beauty Salon (Hair Repair)

We're big fans of the Fisher Price My Friend Dolls from the 1970-1980s.  I have been able to purchase brand new in box dolls for my youngest and she currently has 3 of the 5 made.  As I've said before my youngest (currently age 6) doesn't quite grasp that these are really old dolls!  Especially since they come to her brand new.  She doesn't understand that they've been sitting in a closet somewhere waiting to be loved for 30+ years.  She thinks I buy them at Target, ha!

When she discovered that a friend of hers had a Mandy doll too (her mom's) she was very excited.  We set up a playdate so the girls could get the dolls (and all their clothes) together!  The morning before our get-together her mom told me that Mandy needed some hair TLC stat.  They'd tried to condition it once before but it was still pretty tangled and damaged.  

I love a challenge so in the few hours before I got the girls I gave Mandy a deep conditioning treatment and it turned out pretty well.  

Check out these before and afters.  Not too shabby!  And now a comb can go through all of the hair.  I think another longer (overnight) treatment might work on those ends a little more.

Here's what you will need: Wide tooth comb, regular comb, bowl, fabric softener, washcloth and some patience. :)

1. Put a couple cap fulls of fabric softener in a bowl.  Not too much because you don't want to waste it.  Then put the doll's hair in the bowl and slowly work the fabric softener through all of the hair.  Take time to get it into the tangles or any knots.

2. After the hair is coated, carefully place the doll aside on a washcloth and leave her alone for between 1hr and overnight depending on damage level.  Due to time constraints Mandy had the softener on her hair for about 2 hrs.

3. Slowly and carefully comb through the doll's hair, starting with the wide side of a comb.  Gently work through the tangles until you can get the comb all the way through.  Then move to the small side of the comb and do the same.

4. Rinse, rinse, rinse.  Carefully comb through the hair while it is under running water until you can feel that the hair is rinsed.  Leaving fabric conditioner on the hair long term can damage it.  

5. Lightly towel dry the hair (press don't rub) and comb through it again. Allow to air dry, don't use a dryer!

All set!  Does she look amazing?

My daughter's friend was super excited to see that her Mandy had softer and more manageable hair.  Not perfect but MUCH better.  Hooray!

All ready for a play-date!  Note by the way that both blond dolls are "Mandy".  The far left is the last 1980s version and the visiting Mandy was one of the first editions. (for reference the other two dolls are Jenny and Nicky)

For more information on her Fisher Price Dolls

#204 Baby Ann (a soft doll) 

#206 My Friend Nicky  

#4009 Special Birthday Mandy  

#209 My Friend Jenny